Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Day in the Life

4:00 am
Blackberry alarm goes off and I jump out of bed.

4:25 am
In car leaving Coral Gables and heading to Fort Lauderdale Airport

5:05 am
Arrive at FLL and park. With no bags, head straight to security line.

5:15 am
Of course picked the wrong line..keep getting bumped by Jet Blue flight attendants going through the scanner

5:20 am
Ding Ding Ding...my famous gold bangles set off the alarm. I am escorted behind a glass partition while the guy yells "female assist"

5:22 am
Older woman TSA Agent explains the process I have heard probably 52 times on how she is going to molest me while searching for guns or explosives on my body.

5:24 am
TSA Agent explains now that we are on high alert she is going to also run the back of her hand across my groin area. I am perfectly calm but screaming on the inside.

5:26 am
TSA Agent removes her gloves and then puts them into the machine looking for explosive powder. The alarm goes off..she panics and yells for the supervisor.

5:28 am
Escorted without an explanation into a frosted glass room where an unbelievably rude young TSA agent with serious attitude comes in and starts the whole process again. I lose my patience and ask her to please just get on with it. This upsets her and she shakes her head back and forth and tells me when I stop talking, she can start. We have a slight argument about how rude she is and she opens the door and yells for the Broward County Sheriff officer. I slightly panic but the rage empowers me to stand firm and when he sees how angry I am, he calls the boss in. Before I know it, a nice well-dressed woman walks in and asks what the problem is..the nasty TSA agent and I both start talking at the same time and the woman who I can assume TSA's calming influence (a role I usually play in every job I have had) just tells the TSA lady to hurry up and do her job. I am seething..especially when she gets to the groin area-again and I just have to clinch my teeth and take a breath.

5:40 am
In the line of Dunkin Donuts (I earned a donut from the stress) and then board the plane

6:00 am
Take off

8:45 am
Land at LGA. Determined to keep my out of pocket expenses to under $100 for the day, I attempt to get in the bus lane (something I have never done before). The person before me gets the last seat on the bus and she tells me it will be 30 min. before the next one.

9:00 am
In a cab on the way to the Javitz Center.

9:38 am
Enter the National Stationery Show, check in and start walking the aisles.

11:30 am
Get demonstration from A Fresh Bunch..so cool-more on this later

12:15 pm
See Kirsten at the Preppy Cards booth..so cute and full of new stuff.

12:45 pm
Hop in a cab and head to Tribeca

1:05 pm
Walk by JFK Jr.'s old apartment and unbelievably, Ed Burns (who bought it) walks out of a car and right in front of me. He is carrying a One Kings Lane tote bag-I immediately think..Gwyneth Paltrow's party gift bag???

1:08 pm
Run smack dab into Nicole and Jordan on the corner and walk right into Bubby's for lunch.

3:30 pm
Get to Nicole's apartment. Hang out with her and kids..so fun.

7:35 pm
Take a bottle of hand lotion and shimmy my gold bangles off my arm. Grimace with pain after 4 of them..the last 2 killed my hand.

8:00 pm
Hop into my last cab and head back to airport.

8:20 pm
After the fastest ride to LGA in history, I get there and find out my 9:45 pm flight is delayed until 11:45 pm. Fighting back tears, I make my way through security..bangle-free and go on the search for a food vendor still open. Auntie Anne's might as well as been Ruth's Chris, I was so excited to see them. Delicious pretzel bites and large diet coke.

8:40 pm
Phone is almost dead, I find a seat and play solitare on my iPad. I am so tired and wishing I had called to check on flight before I left the comfort of Nicole's beautiful apartment.

9:30 pm
Our plane takes off from Fort Lauderdale..the waiting is excruciating. I bought some Swedish Fish from another open vendor. They were delicious.

11:50 pm
Our plane arrives to LGA..the people get off..great people watching.

12:25 am
Plane is full of passengers ready to go...it takes off finally. They announce free movies for the inconvenience of the flight delay.

3:05 am
Plane arrives at FLL. I bolt off the plane and walk straight to my car.

3:40 am
Arrive at my apartment..practically cross eyed.

3:58 am
Close eyes and try to fall asleep

Up for 24 hours..I haven't done it since college. Tomorrow morning..I head back to Fort Lauderdale airport to fly to North Carolina!!! Stationary show post coming soon!

4 comments:

CDS said...

You are crazy pants! I am sure it was amazing...TSA date excluded ;)

Sundresses and Smiles said...

You are a busy bee! I can't imagine being body checked at the airport like that-ugh! At least you got to attend a fabulous stationery show after all the mishaps!

Glitterista said...

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience with tsa at the airport! What an exhausting day!

Grove Gals said...

wasn't the show a disappointment! thank goodness it was in NYC and there is good shopping!